Every day, too many South African women don’t return home. Most know their attacker. This is intimate partner femicide — not random violence, but a calculated act driven by rage, entitlement, fear of loss, and rigid ideas about power and masculinity.
From 2020 to 2021 alone, 60 percent of women who were murdered in South Africa were killed by a current or former intimate partner. Less than one in five of those cases ended in conviction—and in 44 percent of them, the killer was never officially identified. (mrc.ac.za, IOL)
The damage starts not with a blow, but often years before, in homes, communities, and social expectations that teach young boys to control women and view resistance as betrayal. These beliefs aren’t fringe—they are common: one national survey found that 7 in 10 South African men said women should obey their husbands. Around 15 percent thought husbands had the right to punish their wives, and nearly a quarter believed wives should never refuse sex. (Wikipedia)
To stop the killings, we must first understand what drives them—the psychology inside the mind of the killer and the system that enabled him.
Imagine a man whose childhood was marked by violence, where anger and physical punishment were everyday rules. If he never learned healthy ways to express emotion, he may become trapped in a world where intimidation feels powerful and genuine love is foreign. When his partner asserts herself—asking for boundaries, the right to work, or to leave—he sees threats, not autonomy. Unresolved trauma becomes fuel for violence. (ResearchGate, Wikipedia)
Add alcohol or drugs into the mix—up to half of femicide victims test positive at autopsy. Substance abuse clouds judgment, weakens impulse control, and may embolden violent tendencies. (Wikipedia) If access to firearms exists, the risk of fatal outcomes skyrockets.
About intimate relationships: emotional jealousy, suspicion of infidelity, or loss of control over a partner are common rallying points—not for honest communication, but for rage and punishment. A growing body of research shows that men who murder their partners often saw relationships as property ownership. If their partner grew independently—to earn money, move freely, or date—they responded with possession. (ResearchGate, ResearchGate)
Adding to this, South African patriarchy still frames women’s financial dependence on men as social currency. In households struggling with poverty and unemployment, men who feel they cannot provide may lash out to restore control, interpreting their partner’s absence or question as shameful. (ResearchGate, mrc.ac.za)
Cultural practices like traditional lobola customs, or stigmas around divorce and mental health, further limit women’s freedom to step away from abuse. On the systemic level, police resources are stretched, protection orders are poorly enforced, and a culture of “settle this in the home” discourages survivors from speaking out. (unwomen.org, Wikipedia)
Often, violence begins with a pattern—intimidation, controlling finances, isolation, then injury. Strangulation, repeated hospital visits, or protection orders dismissed by courts are early warning signs. Research shows that nearly everyone who killed had prior violent episodes. These are preventable moments if they are noticed—and acted upon. (unwomen.org, ResearchGate)
Across nine provinces, a 2024 study found that 22.4 percent of women have experienced physical or sexual violence from a partner—entering the pipeline that can escalate to intimate femicide. (nacosa.org.za) Black South African women face even higher risks, and cohabiting women report violence at even higher rates than married women. Unsafe alcohol use and childhood exposure to violence are significant predictors. (Wikipedia, nacosa.org.za)
So what does a killer believe inside?
-
He must control to prove his worth—power and violence replace intimacy.
-
He fears the relationship slipping from his hands—loss of respect, loss of status.
-
He sees no other exit—the fear of public shame can outweigh the risk of prison.
-
Society excuses his anger—friends may support violence, seen as normal in some circles. (Wikipedia)
This mindset interacts with a justice system that struggles to deter offenders: courts are slow, convictions rare, and untraceable perpetrators common. According to SAMRC, women in the Eastern Cape, Gauteng, and KZN face almost double the risk of femicide compared to other provinces. (news24.com, IOL)
If you suspect the worst may occur—or want to stop this pattern—aware, compassionate action helps. Encourage access to counselling and economic support, call the police on abuse whether or not a weapon was used, and press for case follow-ups. Protection orders, shelters, and trauma counselling are vital but under-resourced. Support community organisations that lend a hand safely, and advocate for stronger implementation of the National Strategic Plan on Gender-Based Violence and Femicide. (unwomen.org)
Restoring control to survivors—and teaching accountability to young men—needs to happen early in life. School programmes that teach consent, emotional regulation, and respect for boundaries can reduce risk long before a woman is at risk of being murdered. (unwomen.org, ResearchGate)
Accountability also begins at home: men must stand up when they see their friends or fathers using control as love. Families must discourage shame, not silence. Communities that refuse to normalise violence can become shields, not enablers.
Poll Question
Where do you think the biggest barrier lies in fighting femicide? Comment below:
A) Cultural norms and entitlement
B) Weak justice systems and police response
C) Poverty and economic dependence
D) A lack of education on consent
Read also: How youth socialisation can prevent future violence in our next post, along with safe‑space stories from survivors. Visit dailysouthafricanpulse.blogspot.com and tap into our full archive.
Every femicide was preventable. Every relationship deserved compassion, not tragedy. If this article moved you, please follow our blog for the full investigation into mens’ mental health issues and restorative community programmes. You might also like our earlier story “When the Informal Settlements Bear Witness: Survivors Rebuild After Violence”.
Follow us to stay informed. Together we can re‑write the script, saving lives one empathy-filled conversation at a time (source).
—
Tags: Femicide, Gender‑Based Violence, South Africa, Psychology
Additional Sources
-
South Africa’s Femicide Crisis Persists: New Report Highlights Increase in Intimate Partner Femicide Violence and Declining Convictions (SAMRC, October 2024)
-
Tackling femicide in South Africa through laws, policies, and better policing (UN Women, November 2024)
-
Breaking the Silence on Femicide (NACOSA, January 2025)
-
Domestic Violence in South Africa (Wikipedia, last edited July 2025)
-
A conceptual framework of gender‑based violence and femicide drivers in South Africa (Mtotywa et al., 2023)
-
South African woman’s murder prompts anger at country’s high level of femicide (The Guardian, June 2025)
0 Comments